just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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