Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize