I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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