is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize
