At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Floor bacon is actually really good
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
