Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
