Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
