i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
