I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
