found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Randomize
