Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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