Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
