I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Ladies don't puke and tell
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
