Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
