all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
