so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
