do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
