thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
