I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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