Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Randomize
