Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
