Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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