It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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