Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Randomize
