my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
