My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
