she looked like the before picture.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
