Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
She bit a glass in half.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
