the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
