It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
