Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
