i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
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