I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
