I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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