Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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