is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
