dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
