she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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