I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
