we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
