No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
