i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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