i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
