My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
