LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
