Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Randomize
