we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
