Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Randomize
