yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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