So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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