News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
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